The World Race - Katie Eason

Home Sweet Home

Wed, 1 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

There is no place like home. There is no place like home. There is no place like home.

I don't usually write unless my thoughts are well organized. I wont even begin unless I have a plan. Not this time. My thoughts seem cluttered and are far from organized. I have been back in the states for a couple of months but feel like I have not processed much, in that time. I forgot how busy life was in the states. Nobody stops. Even when we are forced to sit, like in a car, we will use that time to get more things accomplished. Whether or not it is to use that time to catch up with an old friend on the phone, eat or finish getting ready for the day. There is always more to be done. This busyness is a whirlwind. I got caught into it so fast that when I took one second to breath I saw my bible and journal in the back of it all, collecting dust. A day well spent, for me, is a day spent in the word of God and one where you love on people, with His love. How quickly that can change to it only being a good day when muliple items are crossed off the to-do list. Productivity was replacing my time with the sweet presence of our God.

Its strange to be back. To feel like you are the foreigner in your own land. I tried to jump right back in where I left off but the truth is I am not the same person. We left at Christmas time and returned at that exact hour. The same Christmas tree I left was standing awaiting my return. I can not explain this backwards time warp that it feels like I have walked through. The things I expereniced while overseas were real and tangible. When I tell them state side they seem fake even to me.

I think the hardest question that I continue to get asked is, Where is home? I gave up answering that question a long time ago. My answer became simply, I do not know. The next time you get asked that on an airplane, by a stranger, try my line out and see the obscured looks you get for the entire flight. Who doesn't know where home is? Don't get me wrong I have family and friends all over who have always said, "Mi casa is Su casa". I have shelter to go to and stay as long as I need. Shelter is not the problem. Home is where I belong but I didn't know where that was.

I could not have asked for a better welcome back gretting. Unexpectly, my family flew from all over to greet me at the LAX airport. I have never felt so loved....so deeply missed. It was a moment i will never forget. It was good to be back in the arms of the ones i had left for a year. Tears flowed down my face as I held my 6 month newphew for the first time. Hear me out when i say time spent with family has been sweet and rich but still nothing could seem to fill this void of the question that i could not answer, where is home?

I guess home is different for everyone. Home could be the house you grew up in. To me it is just that, it is a house. A home seems to have so much more meaning and depth then a building. Is a place? a destination? or could it be a person? I find it to be true that when people return from vacation they usually open the door and with much relief in their voice say, " it is good to be home". That releif goes beyond the walls that surround them. It is something deeper that leads their hearts to peace.

I sat down to read the word the other day and I asked the Lord to saturate me with His words and His presence. As i read, my soul quickly made a huge sigh of relief and said," it is good to be home". Jesus is my home. He is where i belong. It is clear that this earth is temporary. " Dear friends, i urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world..." 1 Peter 2:11. We have been warned to not get too comfortable; this land is not our home. It all made sense. I am supporse to feel like a foreigner here because my home is far way. I am thankful though that my home has arms that reach out to me daily from afar.

My heart is captivated by the Parable of the Prodigal Son story, in the bible. A story about the power of God's love and his power to redeem all. You know the story; the son runs away and the Father waits expectingly for his return. When he returned, his fathers arms were outstrechted waiting to embrace his son. As his son hugged his dad tightly i can only imagine that under his breath the son with great relief said," it is good to be home". It was in his fathers arms were he knew he was home, safe, and at peace.

If there is one thing I am sure of it is this; God is love. I have been in love before. The kind that has the depths to penetrate your soul. And at the end of that love came a rejection that swept over me all to quickly. I am sure you have felt this heartache before, one that seems to leave you breathless. The beauty of Gods love is that you will never feel rejection. Ever. His arms will never turn you away nor will His love ever have an end. In fact, His arms are permently open waiting to embrace each of us as we return home. As I picture His arms spread open I can not help but to imagine the cross. A true represention that He is love. God is waiting for you me. His very heartbeat is callling his chlidren to come home. No more running. No more searching. Run into the Fathers arms for there is no place like home.

Made New

Mon, 19 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Here is a video that Emily and Joel made to represent our hearts

that were transformed this year. We are not who we were a year ago.

We are different. Who we are now is less of us and more of HIM!

Coming Home

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I am coming home tell the world that I am coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain from yesterday

I am coming home tell the world that I am coming home

A fun video to represent V squad. Were coming HOME!

Tell the world we are coming home.

Beautiful Things

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Going back in time...

Here is a video from El Salvador that I never got a chance to upload. Enjoy!

In the Quiet

Mon, 5 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

There was stillness in Cambodia. Frogs hopping through fields and snakes slithering through them are all sounds that have been drowned out by our constant busyness. Not there. Those sounds were alive and were the very things that soothed the soul. The quiet ushered in the voice and the presence of the Lord. "Be still and know that I am God" was a scripture that awakened my heart, this month. Without stillness there is no knowledge of God.

Our water to cook, bathe and wash clothes with.... from the nearest pond!

Only 2 % of the people in Cambodia are Christians

This is seen often; a grave area in the yard of someone's home. A strong belief in this

country is that, it's the responsibility of the living to take care of the dead. They bring the deceased in their

family food every so often because they believe their loved ones would suffer if they were in hell and had

no food. Even if the family strongly believes their loved ones are in Heaven they still bring them food because they

don't want to be wrong and cause suffering to the deceased. This is a big reason people don't want to convert

to Christianity because they don't want their ancestors to suffer as they believe they would if they abandoned them.

The only place we have power in is NOW.

We cannot change the past and we have

no control of the future

The Lord wants to show you His beauty

in the places you would least expect it

All lined up for English class

Nancy and I fell in love with our class

The JOY of the Lord will return to you

There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain

Believing the hands of the Lord heal all

Healing Hands

All good things are from our Father God

Be at rest once more O my soul

for the Lord has been good to you

Psalm 116:7

Know His Voice

Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The end is near. This year has been such a paradox; it has gone by so slow yet in a blink of an eye. The end is near but it is not over. Month 11 has arrived and it became evident as we entered the 11th country that the Lord had much in store. The country of Cambodia is beautiful and so are the people here. We are living at a school this month, teaching English,and the only things that surround us are rice fields, rice fields, and more rice fields. Most days I just stand in awe of Gods creation, the creation that He made in ONE week. If I stand still long enough I become convinced that I am trapped in a National Geographic Magazine.

The Lord knows what our hearts need. After living in the busy cities of Vietnam my heart needed rice fields. As I enter each country I would always ask God, what do you want this month to look like? I would surrender all expectations as I prayed, "You design this month Lord. I will follow in your plan." This month the Lords voice washed over me and said, "Seek me first Katie. Above all I want you to seek me. Give me your all so I can become your all. Give me your thoughts and time. Start and end each day at my feet. Enter my presence with a devoted heart, one that will return to me each day".

This month my heart cried out, "Lord I want to know your voice as you know mine". The Lord knows His children's voices. He does not question whose voice he is hearing when we cry out to Him. I hear His voice and before I can confidently walk in it I am being knocked over with the waves of doubt, disbelief, and fear. I want to enter the states with an unshakable faith, one that stands firm no matter what others say. I want to know His voice as He knows mine. This month I want to go deeper into the character of God. I am hungry for more of Him.

I wanted to honor the things the Lord spoke over my heart, so I did. We have to choose God, daily. I was up an at em at 6:00 a.m. every day as I tried to become a sponge at his feet. I tell you this not to receive a pat on the back for having a good devotional time. I tell you because I am a passionate lover of Jesus, and 11 years later I am still learning to choose God.

Each morning the Lord would say ," Just come and listen". He pushed my spirit to enter the quiet time with pure silence. He then spoke James 1:19-21 over my heart, " My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." I read this verse a lot as I remind myself when I am quick to speak and slow to listen it never produces life. Today the Lord turned that around and said. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen to the one and only true God and slow to speak to Him..." My world was rocked as I let those words plant deeply in my heart. I am very quick to talk to God. In fact, my entire day is one on-going conversation. But wait; is it really a conversation when I am doing all the talking? God loves my voice. He truly does but my voice has become an ongoing ramble. How often do I STOP and LISTEN for the voice of God. This month I want the Lord to transform my heart to become one that is quick to listen to Him.

A very wise woman, 11 years ago, told me that I would always have time for what I put first. I use to spend an hour, at least, getting myself ready for the day. I never walked out the door without being perfectly put together. I put myself first, everyday. My lifestyle has radically changed on the race. I am now doing well if I get to take a bucket shower once a week. Putting on makeup no longer takes up any of my time but other things have quickly filled it such as sleep or going for a run. My point is, no matter where you are in life you have to choose God. And no matter what your lifestyle looks like you will always have time for what you put first.

" I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me...My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me". John 10:14, 27

In the quiet rice fields I met Nia. She was a beautiful woman of God one who trusted the voice of God when all others spoke against it. She got bit by something 4 years ago and has been in pain ever since. Her ankle continues to grow in size and in pain. The village she lives in wants to just cut her leg off but she fights for the voice of God that says she will be healed. If the Lord has spoken something to your heart stand by it even if the world speaks against it. The world can not see the unseen but we serve a God of the unseen. Every word that our God speaks is fulfilled.

Enter His Rest

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

In the last three days of ministry I could have checked out. I was literally inches away from the finishing line. Time was not standing still so the end would arrive no matter my choice. Did three days really count for anything?

We were asked to lead a youth camp. To plan all act ivies and lead 100 youth on a retreat that was about 4 hours from their homes. The cost of the retreat was $5 for each student. For a three day retreat in the states that would be unheard of. If you were to add a zero to that number then maybe that would be more like it but this was not the states. One by one students started to take their name off the sign up sheet has they stated their family was not able to come up with the five dollars. The leader of this ministry, who does not get paid a cent, told the students to just bring .25 cents and then they could call it even. In confidence he shared with each student that this trip would be fully funded by the Lord. He is the God who provides, he declared boldly.

We planned for and covered this youth retreat in prayer. We even went door to door in the village to talk with the parents and ask their permission to have their kids join us. Sure enough as the Lord brought more people to sign up, He brought more money in. I was excited. I was committed to finishing this race strong. As a team, as one unit we were all in.

At the retreat, I heard students say they came because this retreat would be the first time in their life where they would get three meals a day. Others came for their friends and just to have fun. No matter their reasons we were excited because we knew Gods idea in bringing them was for a greater purpose then their own. The youth retreat was like a mini passion conference. It was filled with worship, dancing, small groups, a drama, teaching, testimonies shared, break out groups, and a lot of games. I truly felt honored to be a part of this retreat. I felt honored to be a part of these children's life as I watched 20 of them surrender their life to Christ. To be a part of that celebration was incredible! It was then when I relaizxed every second of our lives count. Nothing is wasted. Yes, those three days counted and I am so glad I did just throw in the towl. All of our lives matter because it is all for His kingdoms cause.

Kids recieving Christ and bibles

WORSHIP

Break Out Groups

Games

Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a part of thise youth retreat. What an honor!!! I couldnt imagine the race ending any better

I don't know how many of you have volunteered at a youth camp but their are only two requirements: love Jesus, and be full of energy, ALL the time. Kids love it when adults are crazy and loud. So we gave these kids crazy and loud all the time. As my voice was fading fast within the first day I knew the next couple days would be tiring. But as I thought about how tired I would soon become the Lords voice spoke the opposite. He said," Enter my rest". I quickly told the Lord I would enter his rest in three days, after the youth retreat. His relentless voice continued to speak, "No enter my rest now". In the next couple days the Lord taught me an incredible lesson. To enter his rest is a choice. His rest is not circumstanstaial. Is is ours to enter no matter what we are walking through. Enter His rest today!!!!!!!

A Second Goodbye

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I know I have already said my goodbye's to Africa but I couldnt help but want to share these pictures from a Safari we went on. Many people are to credit for these photos. Whoever was sitting closest to the animal was thrown a camera. Enjoy a little slice of Africa.

Light Penetrates Darkness

Sat, 5 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Had an experience at an orphanage in Vietnam that will never go forgotten. The age range in this orphanage was 5 months to 98 years old. For those who have seen the movie, Shutter Island I felt like I lived on that island for a short period of time. As I walked up I saw the same old lady with balding hair standing perfectly still by the bushes. I passed her on my right and then looked to my left to find another old lady, with her pants to her ankles, squatting in the middle of the grass to use the bathroom. The depths of brokenness I felt that day was indescribable. The man who started it had a heart to go and "collect", for lack of better term, the people who had been abandoned. Children were found in bushes, on streets, while others were found in grave yards. These children along with the elderly were rejected because of their disability. They were found facing everything alone because they were unwanted. My heart as you can assume was beyond broken as we had encounters with each person, in this institution. With every story that I heard, my heart sank deeper and deeper into that brokenness.

Meet Huy

This little boy has water releasing in his brain. He would shake when the pain would run down in body. He was told that he only has five years to live. He is four.

Lord I pray for Huy. I pray that you are holding him when no one else will. I pray he feels the embrace of your loving arms.

Meet Khoung

I fell in love with this little one and so did my teammate Nancy. Had it been allowed, Nancy would have left that little boy clung to her hip and taken him home with her. Khoung was found abandoned in a grave yard because he was born with down syndrome. He only had one arm due to the after affects of a chemical in the Vietnam war called, agent orange. Chemicals that were in bombs years and years ago are still affecting generations. Lord draw near to your precious son. May your arms always hold him. Because you are His God may he never again feel rejected or unwanted. May he always know the depths of your love.

Meet An

( An is acutally in the blue shirt. Sorry I couldnt find a close up picture )

An was a precious 7 year old. She had been dropped from a tall building which caused her to be paralyzed. Her parents brought her to the intuition claiming they had no idea how to take care of their daughter. So the orphanage took her in with open arms. An was overflowing with joy. Her giggles brought so much life. Lord I pray healing over her body. Your desire for your children is to walk in wholeness. Make An whole. Bring feeling and movement back to her body. Continue to take her deeper and deeper into your love. Contiune to impart your joy into her. I pray she continues to live in that joy.

Meet Ty

Ty was a sweet old lady who immediately stole my heart. I could have sat with her for hours. I walked into her room that she shared with 3 others and was so drawn to her. She was sitting on her bed with her arms hugging her knees as she stared out the one window, in her room. As I walked up to her I looked into her eyes only to find she had no sight at all. I didn't have a translator with me so I couldn't communicate one word to her. All I could do was try to love on her through the silence. So I sat on her bed holding her hand, rubbing her back and swatting the flies away, that covered her body. Later I learned that Ty is a widow who lost her husband in the Vietnam war. She had only been married one year before he left to go fight for his country, so they had yet to have any children. She spoke that she never has a soul to come visit her. Lord, I pray that your love with cover her deep loneliness. I know your love has to come to rescue her - yes Lord rescue her from it all. Let your light cast out all the darkness she feels. I pray you become her everything.

Ty's Roommates

Again and again the Lord has spoken on the race that Love has no barrier. Love does whatever it takes to arrive at its destination. The Lords love is all powerful and it has arrived. Its destination is our hearts. It indeed has arrived but we must accept it. It is waiting for us.

I found it very interesting that Ty was looking out the window when I saw her. I don't know much about blindness but when I imagine being blind I picture complete darkness. The light is what pierced Ty's eyes, in the darkeness, and is what directed her. The darkness is what cripples her and keeps her from moving. The light is actually greater than the darkness that consumes her vision. The light of the Lord is greater than any other. Even if darkness surrounds us the light of the Lord is always shining brighter. It is always present and is always there to rescue us. The Lords light has arrived. For darkness is light to our God.

'Where can I go to from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is light to you" Psalm 139:7-12

What the Church Should Look Like

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

In the previous blogs I failed to share an increible story. We visted an underground church for a day and got to sit at the feet of the pastor, as he shared the story of his life. He spoke about going from preaching one minute to getting tossed into jail the next. He described the ways the police would brutally mistreat him. He took on the beatings for the sake of Christ. They kept him in the cell for 23 hours of the day. Which forced him to go to the bathroom on himself. Disgrace and shame are what the police wanted him to be filled with but those things were forbidden to enter his heart. Hope in Jesus is what He clung to. Forgivness and love are the only things that consumed him. He would speak to his own heart and say I have nothing to fear, what can mortal man do to me? Days turned into weeks; and weeks turned into months. After 2 months and 15 days, one of the police man opened the jail cell and said you are free to go. The police had no reason for his release. He couldnt even utter anything other than your free, you can go. Our friends first stop out of jail was to his underground church that he lead. It was their were he found the church body laboring in prayer for him and for his release. That is what the church should look like. There is power in prayer. There is power in the church body.

Watch the video below to get a glimpse into the church here

Catching My Breath

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Life in Vietnam has been amazing. It quickly made it to the top of my list as one of my favorite countries. I feel so honored that the Lord choose and called us to this country. We got to experience so many different ministries this month. Because of it and the crazy travel between each I feel like I have yet to catch my breath. I am beginning to realize that truly catching my breath will come after the race. For now I am truly grateful for the long bus rides and the things the Lord fills my time with. There was never a dull moment in this country.

Like I said, our ministry went across the board. It went a little something like this: working with the deaf community, the blind, several orphanages, teaching English, prayer walks (especially around the temples), lots of intercession, youth group bible studies, the underground church, persecuted Christians, house bible studies, and working with the addicts.

So many stories from each ministry. Where do I even began? All of them changed me in some way. Working with the deaf community was one of my favorite ministries I have ever been apart of. When you walk into their home you immediately feel the presence of the Lord hit you. This deaf community whom were all Christians held a bible study three nights a week. We were honored enough to attend two of their studies. With each one we learned more and more about their stories. Everyone in that room had two things in common. For one they were all deaf and secondly they had all been abandoned by their families because of their faith. Each person told of how they would get beat over and over for accepting Jesus into their hearts. When their family realized they could not beat Jesus out of them they kicked them to the streets. As they shared their story every person shared the beating and tears throughout it all strengthened their faith. In every trail they would cling to Jesus and their faith would arise.

If we truly would cling to Jesus when trial swept in, how would our lives look? We would have an unshakable faith. One that could not be moved by any wave of fear or pain. The Lord would truly become our best friend. He would be the one we would run to and confide in. We wouldn't run to man to gain approval or comfort. Instead we would run to our Father God, climb into His lap and rest there.

As we were leaving the deaf community they signed, " We will see you again in heaven. It is there were we will be able to speak to and hear you. Our bodies will be made complete and whole in our Father's house". I stood in awe of their faith. It was convicting and life giving. Lord I pray you awaken my faith. Create in me a faith that clings to you when trails sweep into my life. With each trial I face, let my faith arise.

' He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist any more- or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist." And the one seated on the throne said; " Look! I am making all things new!" Then he said to me, "Write it down, because these words are reliable and true". He also said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the begining and the end. To one who is thirsty I wil give water free of charge from the spring of the water of life. The one who conquers will inhereit these things, and I will be his God and he will be my son.

[ it is done. ] Revelations 21:4- 7

Let my faith arise

I say no to the discouragement that keeps me down

I say no to the things that keep me back from you

I believe you will awaken my soul

and let my faith arise again

I am going to rejoice in my love for you

So daddy i raise my hands up to you and I say come and hold me

because I am learning to trust you like the faith of a child

(song lyrics by Jason Upton, Faith)

Faith or Fear

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Before even entering the country the Lord was speaking the words faith over fear to me. I knew that once we entered the country I would have a choice to proclaim the name of God boldly or sink back in fear. The Lords voice sweetly spoke over me, where you go, I will be. You are not alone. I entered the country knowing the Lord was leading us. And He did lead. It was a long journey traveling from Africa to Vietnam but we arrived safely. We arrived knowing that our God's army of angles protected us every inch of the way.

I wish I could tell you that I lived every second in Vietnam with boldness and courage. But there were moments when fear would hit me like an unexpected wave and pull me under. Only Gods hands would reach out to be my escape. His love always comes to rescue us. I no longer want to get pulled under by any attack of doubt or fear. I want the current of the Lords love to be the only thing that takes me under. In Vietnam, the book of Acts came alive. This month I experienced what the church should look like. It should be filled with passionate hearts. Hearts that have been set free and who rejoice in that freedom.

During a service with an underground church, my eyes were awakened to who our God is. God is who He says He is. My faith was steadfast some moments and washed over with fear in others. That is not our God. His is unchanging. He is faithful even when we are not. When we welcome the presence of the Lord in we are ushering in who He is. As we were passionately worshipping in this small underground church, the presence of the Lord was felt there. We spent that time praising the God who is above all other gods. We spend time ministering to Him, not asking for anything other than His presence.

What God did in that time was amazing! We heard testimony after testimony of people getting healed in that time. People who had their hands lifted high were healed of their body aches that had lasted for years. One woman said she hasn't been able to get down on her knees in 5 years, was now kneeling on both knees, praising God. Healings happened because that is who our God is. He is the great healer. When God is present He is just going to be God.

Other hearts spoke of their depression because of the Christian persecutions in Vietnam. One woman shared that she had been severely depressed for the past 5 years because of those persecutions. But she felt God calling her to come to worship that morning so she walked 2 hours to arrive at a place to worship God. During worship God gave her a vision of Vietnam. She saw a map outline of Vietnam with wings, fire and hands praying. All of these things filled the entire country. She spoke that those wings and fire were the Holy Spirit covering the land. She spoke in confidence that this nation was the Lords and that it will be a nation that knows the one true God. She gleamed with a renewed hope. The Lord is our encourager. He is our comfort. This woman didn't ask the Lord for anything. I am not even sure she knew what her heart needed but the Lord swept in with His presence and did the very thing He is.

The Lord put people in our path that shared how Christians were persecuted there. We met people who had been put in jail for months because of their faith. They were kept in the cell for almost 24 hours not even allowed to leave to use the bathroom. They were restricted to tight chains around their arms and legs. Their only escape each time they were thrown in jail was by the hand of our Lord God almighty. He is all powerful.

Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted

- 2 Timothy 3:12

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness for theirs is the kingdom of God

- Matthew 5:10

If they persecute me, they will persecute you also - Jesus

- John 15:20

So Long Africa

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

In Africa life is very different. The culture here is radically different. For an example in America we dont mention or talk about other people's weight. It would be very disrespectful to walk up to someone in the grocery store and say, " you are looking fat today". But in some parts of Africa being over weight is not seen in a negative light. It means your beautiful and wealthy, with the money to eat well. So hearing that very line is often spoken. Actually nothing is left unspoken here. Here are a few funny questions and things that have been said to me while in Africa....

When you have a guest over you are suppose to slaughter a chicken, so lunch is ready. We are having chicken!

Are there mud huts in America?

What about houses made of straw? Sticks? I felt like I was a part of the 3 little pigs story as I was getting asked these questions

You look whiter today, do you get whiter when you stay in the house?

What is your dowery to marry? Do you pay 20 cows for a wife? More? Or less?

Do you know how to use a mop?

Do all white people have a small chest? Or is that just you? ( I am sure my momma got a good laugh from this one )

Do you know how to dig a hole? Let me see your hands, I don't believe you do.

Is it legal to marry your cousin?

Is there a 2 kid limit in the USA?

Do you have ANY natural foods in the states?

Can you see the sun in the States? What about Europe?

When you start dating, do you tell your parents or keep it a secret?

Why are you not married? You are over the age of 15!

Can I take your snap ( picture ) with you today because you look whiter? I want there to be a real contrast between us.

Many more funny things were said but those where the most memorable. Here are two other great memories in Africa.

My sweet teammate, Sarah, and I were going door to door to tell people about Jesus. Putting us together is always a receipe for fun. This lady was so close to accepting Jesus but was distracted by a crying baby. So I whip out my handy dandy I pod touch and play some Nora Jones. The entire time we shared about Jesus we listened to the Nora Jones Album. Now a sweet lady in Africa loves Jesus and good music. :)

After I preached in Uganda I was given a very unexpected gift. The pastor spoke that the Lord has blessed my voice to go preach and spread the good news. That no questions asked God is calling me to SPEAK. She then quoted Romans 10:15 " How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news " She then took off my sandles and put on new ones. Which happened to match my african dress beautifully. I was really honored. Speaking as always been one my biggest fears. It is becoming clear that your biggest fear truly is your destiny.

So long Africa... You will be missed!

Nancy and I on our way to see the NILE River

Feet in the NILE

Me with an African Machete are never a good combo :)

The Village - part four

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Up an at em' at 6:30 a.m. for prayer and worship in the church. Soaking it in as I knew this was our final moments there. We were eating breakfast when we were told a "few more" orphans and widows were coming over because some were not able to make it the night before. Our eyes widened as we watched people from all different directions coming down our dirt driveway. Little children in wheelchairs being pushed by other small children made their way to us. The flow of people did not seem to ever stop. Well over 200 people came over that morning whom were all hungry for something MORE. That more was God. He is the only thing that would fill that void in their hearts and life. Our Lord moved mightily in that time. Hearts came to know Him and healings happened.

At this point we were all pretty drained. Our translator informed us that we had prayed for over 1,000 people in the last 1.5 days. But the Lord was not done moving. More healing happened that morning then ever because once again when he have nothing left, His power sweeps over us and does everything. I met this little boy who's name i did not learn because we only had two translators in the mist of the hundreds of people. So we will call him Farah, which is Joy in Swahili. The joy of the Lord was upon him. I prayed and prayed healing over Farah who was constricted to a wheelchair. I declared healing and called him to walk. After a while though I just felt the Lord say, just hold him. So i picked up Farah, with a little help, and sat him in my lap. Not sure how much time went by, maybe an hour or more but I wish my time with him never ended. When I first met Farah his legs were stuck in the crossed position. I tried to move them but they were literally unmoveable.It was like trying to break a steel pipe with your bare hands. It couldn't be done. You could tell that even a light touch caused him pain. One of my squad mates, another Katie, joined me and we covered that little boy in prayer. This precious boy started to repeat what I prayed. He repeatedly said in a small voice, " Heal me. I want to walk. I love you God. Heal me. I believe." And the Lord did heal. Not in the way that I wanted. I wanted to see Farah jump out of the wheelchair and join the other children who where dancing. Once again, God's power is not mine to understand. He never jumped out of his wheelchair but he did get to a place where he could uncross his legs. Not only could he uncross them but he could kick them. I would put my hand at a good distance away from his legs and he would kick my hand, 10 times with each leg. And he would do so smiling and laughing. The pain was no more. Praise God for the healing he received!

At the end of the journey we'll surely rest with God so lets keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest with God - Hebrews 4:9-10 ( the message )

inside the church praying over people

We prayed and prayed over people one by one in the church, which was powerful. The Lords healing hand was at work. More came to know God as their personal Savior and more healing's happened. We left the village at 2:00 p.m which is not exactly close to 6:30 a.m. Unless you call 7.5 hours close :) We arrive at the bus station at 5:00 p.m. and are told to wait an hour or two and the bus will arrive. As we are waiting I see a really sweet old man walking alone. I felt the "nudge" to go talk to him. I got up to walk towards him and our translator followed. He was an Islamic man who had just lost his son the day before, to a snake bite. His heart was very shattered. I asked if he knew Jesus and he said no, so we talked about how the love of God has come to rescue us. In His brokenness he said, " I am ready for Jesus. I am ready to give it all to him". In the middle of a busy African street, this man gave his life to Jesus. He surrendered it all to the one and only true God. I was covered in joy. I think I received a little glimpse of the joy the Lord feels when a heart He has wanted for so long is finally HIS. From the breakfast table to the encounter with this man the Lord was speaking to my heart. He spoke that there is no end to ministry. It is our life. So while we still have life we will always have a ministry.

We caught a bus at 7:00 p.m. and made it home around 10:30 p.m. What a journey! Thank you Lord for it all. I am so blessed that you chose me to go. Beyond humbled by the entire experience. Thank you Lord!

the end to the four part series.

The Village - part three

Wed, 5 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Back to 5:00 - We head back to the ( first ) village, the one we are staying at. We arrive at 7:00 p.m. and as we pull up our jaws drop. Around 200 people are standing in the rain and have been for over 3 hours waiting for our arrival. We were not told the schedule before hand but apparently we were scheduled to talk to the widows and orphans. I was so humbled that these people had been waiting in the cold rain for 3 hours. Not waiting in a warm church building with seats and heaters. They had waited when they had nothing. No shelter. No seats. No jackets. No food. Not even lights. There was one tarp that they were trying to crowd in and hold over themselves. But the tarp was weak and the rain continued to heavily fall down.

To my best effort I tried to get people out of the rain and into the church. Again, this church was made our of sticks and straw so it had holes throughout, but it was shelter nonetheless. I laid potato sacks on the ground and tried my best to crowd people into the church. It didn't work. We managed to get 80 people in the church but that still left over 100 people, in the rain. I went out into the rain to see if I could do anything. I passed by mother's who were carrying infants on their backs while trying their best to soothe their baby who was wet and cold. I then passed by a women in her 90's who was struggling to even stand. Her back was at a 90 degree angle and it was evident that she was in a lot of pain. She just stood there perfectly still as the rain poured onto her fragile body. She knew there was no shelter to run, this wasn't her first rodeo. My heart broke for her along with the other hundreds of women and children that were there. I eventually found a small metal chair made for a toddler and a small corner under the tarp for her. I took her hand and lead her to the small place of refuge. She sat with great relief as her body had a second to recover. After my encounter with this lady I began to get overwhelmed. Tears that I could no longer fight started to come which went well with rain drops that were endlessly covering my face. This situation was too big for me. There was nothing I could do. As I left that woman's side, I passed by one of my teammates and he said remember its in the Lord's strength not ours. With dark cloudy skies above it was becoming very clear that it would be in the Lord's strength to do anything. So I began to PRAY.

I prayed for the rain to end. It never did.

I prayed for the church to expand. It didn't.

I prayed for food to appear. It never did.

I prayed for chairs to appear. They never came.

Before I preached to the widows the Lord spoke something over me that realigned my heart and focus to be on Him alone. He said, " Katie, I know you don't understand my power but that's ok because it's not your power to understand. Trust me for I am your sovereign God." I was rocked when He spoke that. My need to understand His power fell to ground to It is not my power to understand any of it. For the first time in my life I started to understand that the Lord truly is Sovereign over all. He is sovereign over the angels and over Satan. He is even sovereign over " chance ". He is in control over everything. He is the one who started the rains so of coarse he could put an end to them but He didn't. He is Sovereign.

As I talked to the widows and orphans I was beyond humbled. I was in awe of their devoted hearts. We had no food to offer. Nothing material to give. All we had to offer was Jesus and that is exactly what they wanted. I could see their hunger for Him and I could sense their desire to go deeper in His spirit. Past the rain and everything that this world had to offer their eyes spoke, just give me Jesus. I shared with them the very thing the Lord was teaching me in that moment. That even if we have a lot of unanswered questions, and many why's about their husbands death we can rest knowing that our God is in control. God is and always will be in control. It's his control. His power nor ours to understand. With our unanswered questions we can rest in who our God is. He is a good God. He is a God that only wants the very best for us. He sees what we can't see. He see's the greater purpose for it all. He is God. He is worthy and holy. He is who He says He is. I tried to encourage their hearts to rest in His goodness and faithfulness. Then I shared with them what I saw as I was speaking to them. I saw Jesus. i saw him walking up to every orphan and widow and he was putting his hands on either side of their cheek and he was looking deeply into their eyes and speaking the same eight words to every person. ' There is no place I would rather be' There is no place the Lord wanted to be more than in the cold rain holding the hand of every soul there. The Lord was speaking to every heart there and He was saying, just give me your heart. Just give me you.

That day wrapped up around 10:30 p.m and we were told that we would be leaving at 6:30 a.m. We went to sleep thinking our time at " the village " had ended. We were wrong. The Lord have even more to come. To be continued....

The Village - part two

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Welcome back to the longest yet greatest day I have lived on the race.

It was around 1:00 p.m. when we finish praying at the school and loaded back into the car. Of coarse not one of us knew what was to come. We drove for about an 1.5 to another village. The people in the first village have a heart to bulid a church in this one so we are there to pray over the land.

This was the first time white people had ever visited this village so we had a lot of fun with the kids. Well, with most of them, some greatly feared us. While others loved us :)

We also got to encourage the heart of the only christian in that village. Lord continue to fill this women with an unshakable faith. Remind her heart that she is not alone.

2:30 ish and we were driving back when a couple of kids call out to us to stop. We stop the vehicle and they communicated that they wanted to take us to a Massai village. We agreed to go to the village so they jump in and on the car and we set off to yet another village. Throughout Africa, I have heard stories about the Massai tribes but never got to see them. At the start of this journey I had asked God to see and expereince this tribe. The Lord hears and answers the desires of our hearts. Espcially when those desires are not our true hope. When He is our hope then he makes our hopes a reality.

About an hour drive later we arrive at the Massai Village. We are greeted with a beautiful song and dance.

We were each given a glass coca- cola bottle and an assortment of meat which included, liver, heart, and kidney. You have to understand this meat and coke are very vauleable to this tribe. It is their very best yet they joyfully gave all of it away. We have been served some questionable meat on the race. So questionable that it has turned me into a vegetarian. I have somehow made it almost 4 months without eating meat. But I've got to say I gladly ate those organs and was so humbled while doing so.

After we ate we walked outside to see that even more people had gathered from the village to greet us. We shared a word that I prayed encouraged their hearts and then we worshiped our Almighty God together, as one. They in returned performed a song and dance for us. It was beautiful.

At the end of the ceremony the leader of the tribe apprroached us on behalf of the village and said they wanted to offer us a gift. He said, " We so wish we could offer more but this is all we have." He then hands our leader $25 to pay for fuel for driving out to their village.

I stood in awe of their generosity. They have nothing yet they give away everything. In that moment, the Lord started to really stir something in me. To give is to trust. To give generously means you trust deeply. There are moments when I hold onto the money I have with both hands. When I look at my account and find that I have $ 100 remaining to last me the rest of the race and even after, I go into protect mode. I want to save that $100 and protect that bank account because its all I have. I have been learning about abandonment this year but with everything there are layers to go deeper. At the core of abadonment is an unshakable trust. It is a life where you live with your hands wide open. Open to let go of the things the Lord takes away, and open to receive all that the Lord has to give. Picture opening a gift with your palms clinched tightly closed. Nearly impossible. Open your hands to truely receive the gifts and blessings Our God longs for you to have.

We leave the village at 5:00. Its five o'clock somewhere right? To be continued....

The Village - part one

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

At the tale end of our time in Tanzania, our teams ( we had been working with another team the whole month ) were asked if we wanted to travel 6 hours on a 3 day trip to " the village ". We were not given much more information, other than that the people's hearts there were in need of encouragement. I spent the entire day ATL ( Asking the Lord ) what He wanted me to do and waiting to hear his voice speak. After much prayer I felt the Lord calling me to go, so my heart moved into action and was prepared for the long journey ahead. It was indeed a long journey. We arrived at the village at 11:30 p.m. We were so tired but were greeted and welcomed by people who served us tirelessly. We were served dinner at mid- night and were then told that this was perfect! That we would eat, sleep for 5 hours to be awake just in time for prayer. We had brought supplies to this village from the main church we had been working with. The supplies consisted of a wheelchair, crutches and a box full of frisbee's, for the children. To not much surprise those very frisbee's served as our plates for our late dinner. A long day was ahead but we faced it with great expectations of the Lord showing up in a big way.

The morning rolled around all too quickly. By 5:30 a.m. we were all gathered in the church for prayer and worship. By far this is the coolest church I have worshiped in, thus far on the race. I felt honored to worship there. The church was made up of straw and sticks. It looked as if a powerful wind would surely sweep it away. There was only 12 of us in that church but regardless of the number I knew I was standing on holy ground.

7:00 Breakfast is served - tea, bread and a banana. After finished eating we were told that we were going to visit a school. Being month 9 on the race and all we didn't ask questions. We just hoped in the car with a smile on that spoke we were ready and eager to face the day.

8:00 Arrive to the school and are sitting in the headmaster's office as we sign our names into the guest book.

8:10 The headmaster informs us that we will be teaching the entire student body about HIV / AIDS.

8:11 A moment of panic as I look out the window to see all 618 students coming together for an assembly that is being taught by us.

8:30- 10:00 Teaching on Aids.

We all pray a simple prayer, Lord take the reigns. We need you. It was evident that He did just that. The talk about AIDS went all to smoothly to have come from us. The Lord took the steering wheel on that one. I felt lead to share a little after the talk which lead to all 618 students yelling, ' I AM WORTH IT '. Declaring truth over yourself is a powerful tool that the Lord gives us to fight off the lies of the enemy that has us questioning our value and worth. Without even knowing it, these students were using that powerful tool to fight the enemies attacks. At the end of the assembly we announced to the students if they needed prayer, we would love to pray over them. We told them to simply come find us after they were dismissed.

10:30 We make it back to the headmaster office and take a deep sigh of relief that the Lord got us through that one. He always does. I glance out the window to see over 100 students lined up for prayer. We began covering these students in prayer. I was asked to pray over a girl who had fallen over during prayer. When people are dropping like flies it usually means the presence of the Holy Spirit is heavy. She was laying on her back, eyes closed and was remaining completely still. I just started to pray that the life of Jesus would reign in her heart. That any and all darkness would be gone in the name of Jesus Christ. That the Holy Spirit would be the only thing that invades her body, mind, heart and soul. Over and over I kept saying in the name of Jesus Christ because I knew it was in His name were the power laid. It is His name that has the power to break every chain. His name indeed broke the chains over this girl. Her whole body started convulsing and everything that was not of the Lord was coming out. The Lord was taking back what was HIS. When she opened her eyes she looked different. The darkness was gone and the only thing that consumed her now was the light of Jesus. Several people experienced deliverance that day. So many divine appointments were met. Only by the Lord's hand would we be allowed to be in the teacher's lobby, in a public school casting out demons. Only by His hand does He make the impossible, possible. Thank you Lord for setting hearts free, free indeed.

Clearly there is so much more to tell... Its not even noon yet Stay tuned for part 2, 3 and maybe even 4 :)

Not Forgotten

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Some of my most favorite moments on the race are really quiet moments I have with God's people, I wanted to share two stories of those moments. These two memories will never go forgotten in my heart.

Meet Hagar.

She might simply be my favorite person I have met thus far on the race. She was absolutely beautiful inside and out. Her spirit was captivating. She is 93 years old and had the sweetest soul. We were invited into her home for dinner and in her culture it is the norm to not eat with your guest. Your seve your guest and then leave the room so that your guest can enjoy all that you have prepared. I saw Hagar sitting in the back room behind the kitchen table so after I was finished eating I went to sit beside her. She was sitting in the dark because the power was out, with is also the norm in Africa. She took my hand and put it in hers and said, " When you leave dont forget about me. Will you pray for me because Jesus is coming for me soon." I smiled and said, " Jeus is coming for us both and that is so exciting to know that we will be with him forever. " She sqeezed my hand a little tighter and said, " Yes Jesus is coming for me soon. I have loved him since 1961 and he is coming for me soon because He has prepared a house for me." Without any warning she started to sing a beauitful song that went like this...

Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming, Jesus is coming for me. I quickly joined in on the singing and was overwhelmed with emotion. Together we sat on her bed, in a dark room and sang with such a pure heart, Jesus is coming, yes Jesus is coming. I will forever treasure this moment with Hagar. I cry even as I recall this moment. Lord, Thank you for my sweet friend. Thank you that you are coming again. We look forward to the day that we get to spend eternity with you.

Meet Anna.

I only had a few moments with this sweet lady. I felt so strongly to approach her as I was walking the street to tell her that she was BEAUTIFUL. As I told her she stepped backwards and said, "Who me? No, I am not beautiful. Look at me. I can not be beautiful". I insisted that in fact she was very beautiful. That her creator makes no mistakes, he makes all things beautiful. She continued to shake her head and repeatedly said, no no I am not beautiful. My heart broke. For a moment I feel like I had the heart of the Father, that broke for every person that could not see their beauty that their creator created. I wanted to stay with Anna until she saw her beauty but she never did. To know our beauty is to know our creator and to deny our beauty is to deny our maker.

Lord I thank you for my sweet encounters with these two women. I pray over their hearts right now. I pray that Hagar is resting in your peace. That is allowing your goodness and faithfulness to be her covering. I pray that even as she sleeps she feels your arms holding her. I pray Anna's heart is able to see that the beauty of her creator reflects in her. That she will be able to claim her beauty and that she will come to know you through it. I pray the enemy that says she is not beautiful will be silenced. Lord may her heart come to know yours. Then she will she that she is made in your image. Then she will live in her true beauty. I love you Lord. There is no place I would rather be then in your arms and in your love.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I just received a second letter from John. I wanted to share so that we could continue to walk this whole journey together. All Glory goes to the Lord. HE is the great healer. He is the great I AM.

' In everytthing I did. I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, rmembering the word the Lord Jesus himself said: ' It is more blessed to give then to receive.' Acts 20:35

Oh! glory to Jesus Katie,

Real the God we are serving is above all things Katie.God heared your crying about the problem I had, your inner tears reached the most high God and he came down to let me free.Oh God what thanks should I give to let your people know the wonders you have performed through your servant KATIE?

Nothing but go down to my kneels and pray to glorify your name and that have your servant Katie being covered and protected from all kinds of Trials-AMEN.

Katie! my friend I wish you and your friends a good, blessed journey and promise to pray for you wherever you are.

Once again I say thank you for the the tireless prayers you did that you have left Tanzania with that big memory,leaving me with a gift of walking without CRUTCHES.

JOHN.

Ashes into Beauty

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Thank you for your comments on my last blog, in regards to my grandmother's death. I wept reading your words but with the good kind of tears. The kind that sweetly remind my heart why God created us to live in community. We need each other.

I got to read your comments the day after I posted that blog. At the exact hour my heart needed them most. As I was reading your words, I got a message informing me that my aunt had just passed away. Those layers of brokenness that I was talking about just got a little deeper. My greatest fear of coming on the race was losing a family member. I hated even the thought of not being with my family during that time. This is the third family member that I have lost on the race. Through it all the Lord again and again continues to posture my heart in a state of surrender. My life is not my own. It is His. I am His.

My heart wanted to go home. Just long enough to hug and cry on the shoulders of my family. I wanted to be surrounded my family, not in the middle of a village in Africa. As I cried out my request to God that only thing I continued to hear was, "let the dead bury the dead." I remember reading that in scripture, and questioning why that verse was even there. Thinking it was way too harsh but it was said by Jesus so I knew it had purpose, just not one that I ever wanted to live. It was not a verse that I was quick to underline in my bible. It's funny how every word in the bible is God breathed, yet we still pick and choose what verses we want to read and hear.

The title before this passage is, The COST of Following Jesus

"Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go."

Jesus replied, " Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

Another disciple said to him, " Lord, first let me go and bury my father."

But Jesus told him, " Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead. "

- Matthew 8:19-22

Those things are not easy to hear but the bottom line is this, obedience is costly. It could mean that you will not have a home or a place to lay your head and it could also mean that you may not be at home to grieve and attend the funeral's of your loved ones. Following Jesus is costly but the reward is greater than any other.

I only had a few moments to process my aunts death, until I was supposed to attend a crusade. I could have gone back to our home. Our contact and my teammates would have understood if solitude was the very thing my heart needed but I heard the Lord say GO, so I went. I walked up to this crusade broken. People from all over were dancing and praising God and the only thing I wanted to do is curl up in a ball and cry. But the Lord said stay, so I stayed. This was the third and final day of the crusade. The first night I met John. I immediately walked up to this man on crutches and prayed to myself Lord heal him. At the end of the night I felt the push to go pray over him. I did and he experienced healing. He walked off that night, carrying his crutches horizontally under his arm. Praise God. As I watched him walk away though, I still saw a limp in his walk. Our God is a God of complete healing. So the next day at the crusade, I asked if I could pray over him again. He said he felt even more pain release but still walked with a limp. The third night, I was so broken. I was the one that so desperately needed the Lord to come heal. My heart needed to be made whole again by the Lord's healing hands.

It was then I was reminded of something the Lord spoke into my life several months ago. Give the very thing that you need the most. Whatever you need, give that very thing away. If you need money, give money generously away. If you need encouragement, freely give encouragement. If you need prayer, go pray over others. And if you need healing, be the first to pray healing over someone.

I was desperate for healing so I thought this was a perfect time to pray healing over someone. So, I approached John and asked if I could pray over him again. I had nothing in me to give. I was completely drained but I saw God show up in that moment more than ever. It's in those moments were we can do nothing, He does everything. He loves the moments where we are weak because that is when his power is made perfect. It is in those times where His name gets all the glory.

The Lord was so faithful. John was healed. The Lords spirit invaded John's body. His first response was tto weep and then his tears were turned to laughing. The joy of the Lord was over this man. He said he no longer felt an ounce of pain when he walked. He said he has been on crutches for so long that people on the streets are even asking him what happened to his crutches. His story is the Lords story. It is to make much of his name. In that moment the Lords presence overwhelmed me and in that the healing began in my own heart. When you give the very thing you need, it it return will be given to you. To give is to receive. It is a kingdom principle that will always hold to be true.

Meet John.....

The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom to the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.... To comfort all who mourn and provide for those all who grieve.. to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. - Isaiah 61: 1-3

An email I just received from John

Hi Katie
By the grace of God it is my hope that you and your friends keep on well.
Katie I thank God so much that he sent you to speak to me about the problem I had,he used you as his vessel to get me out of the leg problem I had.I have nothing to give to you but my prayers that you get covered by the almighty God wherever you go.Am now free and free indeed from the severe pain I had in my right leg,I could not even sleep well but you can not believe Katie am now sleeping as a baby in bed and without any pain.
I give glory to God the almighty.
Again I say thank you Katie for all that you have done to me.(Real your prayers worked).
Be blessed.

John

The Lord is faithful. He is turning my ashes into a crown of beauty. Only Yahweh can makes something so beautiful out of ashes. There is no one like our God.

Cant Go Back

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

As I write this, tears cover my face. I hesitated to write at all but the Lord revealed this to me: I am different. I am not who I was. In the past, I allowed myself to become a stranger to my own heart. I hide from it, not wanting to face any pain that was in the depths of it. I was created though, to live from my heart instead of a place of running from it. Often I write in hopes to make my readers feel like they are on the streets of Africa or Thailand themselves. I want you to see and feel the things the Lord is exposing to me. But today my heart is walking in a season that will probably be all to familiar to any reader. It is not something that you have to invision happening from across the world. Just picture sitting across the table with a friend with a broken, messy heart sharing it all.

A few days ago, I received an email from my mom telling me that my grandmother was on her dying bed. A couple weeks prior I felt it on my heart to write her a letter. That feeling though never pushed me out the door. I let time escape and I never made it to the post office. When I received the email though I knew the time was now. There was not going to be a later so I prayed and felt like sending an email for my mom to deliver was the best thing. I stared at a blank document for a few minutes asking myself, what do you say to someone who only has a few breaths? I then began to ask the Lord that same question and he began to download the very words he wanted me to write. I wrote with a deep longing to be the one delivering these words but resting in the fact that at least her heart would get to hear them.

I sent the email. Within the same minute, less than 60 seconds of pushing send, I got a message saying that my grandmother took her last breath.

I was wrecked. Brokenness is a state that my heart is familiar with but I am finding that there are layers to this brokenness. I felt my heart going deeper and deeper, into those layers. Within 24 hours my heart felt sad, hurt, angry, confused, guilty, and more hurt. I started to question prayer. In this world race community we live in such a way where we believe our prayers have the power to move and shift things. I stood for that wholeheartedly for the past 8 months but after my grandmothers death I started to question that. On the race, I have learned this: questions are a good thing. Never in my life have I asked so many questions, only to walk away with more questions. If we truly follow our questions and take them before Go, I believe that leads us to a passion that you will not find elsewhere. If you want to be passionate then it is up to you to seek and pursue. It is in the asking that we receive an unshakeable faith.

Last month I got to a place where my heart was just tired. Tired of asking, waiting, and then waiting some more. It seemed so much easier to not ask God for anything. I remember having someone pray over my grandmother and they declared in the name of Jesus she was healed. Today my family is burying my grandmother. Life seemed more similar to just accept whatever the will of God is and serve Him regardless. That seemed less painful. It is in the asking that risk comes in to play. After hearing of my grandmothers death, my heart immediately went to the tiredness spot of see Lord I am just tired of asking. I could feel this fight battling inside of me. One side of me was so rooted in faith. Knowing that believing in the unseen is what it is all about. But then there was another side of me that just wanted to become numb. Numb to asking God for anything and worse numb from even caring. Can you please get a clear image of which fight was from the Lord. It is night and day. Literally life and death.

I don't understand any of it all still. Some days the only thing I do is say over and over say, God you are good. You are good God, all the time, every time. I know that you love me God. Yes, oh how he loves us. The Lord has captivated my heart to the point where even if I wanted to run away I couldn't get far. His love is so faithful to rescue me from it all. His love truly is a hurricane that I can't out run. Like I said before I don't understand a lot but I do know that the Lord wants our hearts. He wants us to believe that He is the God of all power because He is and that with Him nothing is impossible. A good friend of mine told me that because I have the gift of faith, doubt will never be far behind. Satan loves for my heart to get caught up in doubt and fear because it removes me from fully living in faith. There is power when we live in faith. Today I rest knowing that God is victorious over my heart. He has already won. Hard days continue to creep in and all I can do on those days is praise God. When we praise Him, the enemies' voice has no other choice but to be silenced. With a shaky voice and with tears flowing faster then I can catch them, I continue to stand in the goodness of our God.

Here is the letter that my grandmother was never able to hear. The Lord is good. I only ever wanted two eyes to read these words and to feel my love but the Lord had greater plans. Now more eyes will read this letter than ever. His plans are always greater.

Granny,

Words cannot express how badly I wish I was home at this very moment. I want to be holding your hand telling you these words not writing them in an email across the world. As far as I can remember you have been going to church. You are such a devoted and committed person. But as you know God only cares about our heart. If we have surrendered our hearts to him, then we are HIS. You are his beautiful daughter. Know that! You are HIS. There was nothing that you could have done to make Him love you any more or any less. Because that is who He is, His is love. He has always been madly in love with you. Always.

As I look at your life I see such a sacrificial person. Always giving your time to serve others. My mom is just like that. She learned from you and I have learned to live that same way through her. You have caused this generational chain of living in a way where you care more about others then yourself. Thank you for that. Thank you for living your life like that.

You have always been an amazing mother and grandmother. I know that our family has brokenness but don't worry about that. I KNOW God is going to mend all of it. I wish you were here to live in that wholeness but rest in knowing that it is to come. Our family is going to live as one again. That is the heart of Our Father and with his hands it is going to be done. His heart is a heart of redemption and restoration. He truly does redeem the broken.

I have learned a lot on this mission trip but one thing the Lord always brings back to me is that we only have one life. One. That's it. And i can attest that you lived your life to the fullest. You lived in a way that was so honoring to our God. And that is the only thing that really counts. You granny are his beautiful faithful one. I cant wait until the day where i join you and we can dance on the streets of gold together. I have tears of joy flowing down my face right now just thinking about that moment. I love you so much. I am praying over your sweet heart. Let the Lords faithfulness be your cover. Rest in the wings of the shadow of the almighty. Trust in His peace today. Praying your heart truly is resting in His peace. That you do have an anxious or fearful heart, for his love cast out all fear. love you so much. Love you more then my words spoke it.

I will be seeing you again.

Love your granddaughter,

Katie

Those who trust in the Lord are like mount zion which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forever more.
psalm 125

Pain is a forest we all get lost in

between the branches
hope can be so hard to see

and in the darkness
we have all our questions

we all just trying to make sense
out of suffering

but You say we are blessed
because of this

so i choose to believe

as i carry this cross

you carry me Carry Me
- Audrey Assad

Today, ask the Lord if there is anything He wants you to do. Ask. Listen and then Move. Seriously do it today. Tell someone that you love them, give forgiveness, receive forgiveness, give a word of encouragement, write a letter, or speak those unspoken words to a loved one. Whatever it is just act on it, today. Don't wait. God is so patient with us. He really is but we are not promised tomorrow. Your delayed obedience is still disobedience. You only have one life and its one where there is no going back.

Same Kind of Different

Thu, 1 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Change is becoming familiar on the race. Actually change is becoming my new normal. We change homes, cultures and even countries every month. Through these changes I am learning that God cares way more about our character then our comfort. Over and over I see that as He strips me of my comfort.

There is nothing automatic about spiritual transformation. The Lord is constantly calling us to change and become and then to change and become again. I am thankful the Lord has started to root this in my heart now because I have a good feeling this is how life is going to continue. Lord all of my life is yours. Forever change my heart so that it will become more like yours.

My team changed again. Don left our team to join another and Rachel and Erin joined ours. So I am walking into a new season yet again. I am now on an all girls team, which has already taught me so much. For starters I learned that my protection, on this race, was not in any man on the squad. My protector is God alone. I haven't had a whole lot of girlfriends in my life. I tend to run from any and all drama. Living with five girls is teaching me to not run away when a problem arises but to fight for each other and to love each other above all. I am excited to walk the rest of the race with these girls. They are mighty warriors who are madly in love with Our God. I am honored to be on a team with each of them.

We decided to keep the team name, Divine Collision because we believe that it was a prophetic name for such a time as this.

Meet my new team

After an 18 hour bus ride from Uganda to Nairobi we had a four day debrief. It was one that brought a lot more unity to our squad and team. It was the push we needed to finish this race strong. Then we had another 14 hour bus ride to get us to our next country. Just made it to Malilaja, Tanzania. Were excited to see what God has in store this month. Internet is not very accessible here so I am not sure how often you will hear from me. But know that you are not forgotten and that i will write whenever possible. You are all so loved and missed by me!!!!!

Children of God

Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

As I walked the streets the other day, every where I looked I saw children. Some were smiling from ear to ear while others had eyes that were filled with tears. I passed by a five year old bathing a new born and without thinking I said, "I want one of these children". Immediately I heard the voice of God say I want them all because they are my children. My heart began to break as I started to see these children through the Fathers eyes. My heart was sincere in wanting a child. I have a heart to adopt like never before. I want to love and change a life. My love can only do so much. However, the Lords love is more powerful then all. His love is all.

One of my deepest desires is to be a mom. I want to know the fathers love deeper by being a parent. He is madly in love with every single one of his kids. He made them all wonderfully and fearfully in his image. There is nothing that His children could do to make him love them any less or any more. He loves all the time because He is love.

Once again I am overwhelmed by the love of God. There is nothing more beautiful then the love God has for you and I.

Jesus said, " Let the Children come to me,

and do not hinder them,

for the kingdom of heaven

belongs to such as these" matthew 19:14

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit
that we are God's children.

Now if we are children,

then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs
with Christ. Romans 8:16

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,

that we should be called children of God!

And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Praise to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ

Our God and our king

To him we will sing

In his great mercy He has given us life

And now we can be called the children of God

Great is the love that the Father has given us

He has delivered us

Children of God

sing your song and rejoice for
the love that he has given us all

Children of God

by the blood of his Son we have been redeemed

and we can be called

Children of God.

The Father above has proven His love

Now we are free from the judgement that we deserve

So we are called the children of God

We are the saints

We are the children

We have been redeemed

We have been forgiven

We are the sons and daughters of our God

( Third Day Lyrics, Children of God )

Homesick

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Today I got to rejoice with Irean, a lady in her 80's, as she gave her life to Jesus. What a beautiful day on earth and in heaven. Before we left her home we asked her how we could be praying for her and she said, "Pray the Lord would have favor on me and give me more years on earth". I could sense a lot of fear of the unknown as she continued to speak. I prayed the Lord would cast out her fear, with his perfect love, as I told her about the life to come. A life of beauty. A life that has no end. I told her that God promises to wipe away every tear from our eyes. I shared that when we are in heaven, we will not know hunger or pain. It will be a life of glory where we will forever be with our Creator.

I am excited to spend eternity with my creator. I am excited to go home, to the place where I belong. I have my days in this life where I get homesick. Homesick for a place I have never been but it is a place where I will spend eternity.

' For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of your for your progress and joy in faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me'- Philippians 1:21-26

I think Paul had several days where his heart was homesick. Homesick for heaven. Homesick for his real home but he knew the Lord had him on earth for His great purpose. He wanted to fulfill the Lords purpose because his life was for the glory of God.

Today I am having one of those homesick days. Don't get me wrong, I love life. I have come to see the beauty of this life now more than ever. I am thankful every day the Lord gives me breathe and allows me to live here for His glory. I am thankful but I do long for the day I get to go home. I long for the day where I will forever be with my Father.

Irean with her granddaughter and her great grandchildren

Jesus come take me away, I long to see Your face
This world is broken yet beautifully made,
Jesus come take me away
Jesus I'll patiently wait, till like a vapor I'll fade
Help me fulfill all your dreams for these days,
Jesus I'll patiently wait

You'll come again with a shout,
like a thief in the night you'll come riding on clouds
Finally the voice I have followed for life
has a glorious face that is lit up with light
And you'll come for me, no more pain, peace,
No more fear, release
just lost and consumed with my glorious King,

And you'll come for me

Jesus today I am tired, I need your music to come and inspire
I give myself to be refined in this fire,
but Jesus today I'm so tired

Come for me

All of my life, Lord, is for your glory. My life is yours to do with as you please. I pray it honors you. One day I will come home to you, to where I belong and for that I rejoice. I love you Lord.

Ask and it will be given

Mon, 8 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

For so long I have lived life like this, whatever you want Lord, I want nothing. To have your heart in a posture of surrender is a beautiful thing but the Lord is quick to check the motives of our heart. The Lord recently unveiled the depths of my heart. This is what the Lord spoke over me....

'You live in a place of surrender because you don't want to ask me for anything. You don't ask because you don't trust. In reality your surrender has allowed you to live in a place with walls around your heart. You don't ask for the desires of your heart because you don't want to get hurt. My daughter if you don't ask I can't grow your faith. Trust me to give what you ask. Trust me to ask for anything'

I am learning this: The Lord WANTS us to ASK because He wants to GIVE. Our Father God wants us to Ask and He wants us to keep asking. Do you trust God to ask for anything? Do you trust that He will answer? Does your faith fade if He doesn't answer you the first time?

I know that my faith starts to fade when my prayers are left unanswered. When I have yet to receive an answer, I allow doubt and disbelief to creep in. Why is that? Over and Over our God has proved to be a faithful God. He is faithful even when we are not. He is such a good dad and He wants the very highest for His children. I have seen that to mean that He cares more about our character then our comfort. If he answered are prayers instantly every time, where would the faith be. Our faith is grown out of the asking, waiting, believing and longing.

The Lord has stretched my faith as I have walked out the journey of raising 14,300 for this trip. I started raising money in November 2009. Two years later I have that very amount in my account. If I would have stopped asking... If I would have just looked at my account that only had 5,000 when I left and said, I guess God doesn't want me to go on the World Race I have been very wrong. The Lord has provided for my finances just as He did with manna, in the Old Testament. He provided just want they needed. No more. No less. Because it has taken two years to be fully funded I have had to remain fully dependent on the Lord, crying out to him to provide for every deadline that approached. He was faithful to do just that. Thank you to all my supporters, who listened to the voice of God to give what He called you to give. I have received several emails asking if you could still donate. I am fully supported for this trip but I am allowed to raise 1,200 to help cover shots, malaria meds, and plane ticket home. If you feel lead to give you can still do so under my account. They will give me the reimbursement's for shots, plane ticket etc. through my account if I raise any amount over the 14,300. I have been so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life.

Our Father wants us to keep asking. He will answer as your continue to PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens). Put your hope and confidence in a God that does hear and answer the cries of our hearts.

ASK and it will be given to you

SEEK and you will FIND

Knock and the door will be OPENED

Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you

are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more

will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7: 7, 9-11

"yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give
him as much as he needs" Luke 11:8

"You keep us waiting,

You, the God of all time, want us to wait.

For the right time

in which to discover who we are,

where we are to go,

who will be with us,

and what we must do.

So thank you for the waiting time" - john bell

Set Free

Tue, 2 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I know updates are needed from Uganda since I have already been here for a week but my heart needs to back track to Kenya one last time. Something happened on the last day that is worth sharing. We were given the last day off to pack and prepare for the journey to another country. I expected the day to look just like that. Once again, I was very wrong.

To make this day make sense I need to back track to three weeks prior. Our contacts were phoned by the police informing them, that they had found a new born in the bushes and they were needing to know if they could take the baby. No other place could take this baby is what the policeman had said. The mother had been found shortly after the baby and was being held in prison while she was on trial. The police decided to keep the baby with the mother, in jail so that she could breastfeed the baby for the first few weeks. With much prayer, our contacts called the police back a few days later and agreed to take the baby. As much as their hearts instantly wanted to say YES to the baby they had to run to the Lord for the answer. There had already been a shortage of food in the orphange, so they knew if they where to take another baby in it would have to be God who provides all. If its God will, then it's God bill, right?

Several of us waited throughout the three weeks to meet this baby that the Lord rescued and his mother. Our last day in Kenya was the last day to make that happen. We went to the prision but the mother, Susan, and the baby, Ivan, were not there. This was no surprise to God. They were at the court house for her trial. We continued into the prision asking God what HE had instore for us there. We walked into the womens prision where 55 women were being held in about 5 cells. As we walked in they welcomed us with many smiles and a beautiful song.

Out of the 55 women in the prision there were 11 children. Kids are allowed to stay in prison with their mother up to the age of 4 years. My heart broke as I saw these children confined to their mothers cells. My heart broke knowing this is the only life they had known.

In Africa, 1 Peter 3:15 has become a reality to my life. ' Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope you have'. As the women finished their song, our contact turned to us and asked us all to share a word. I believe the exact prayer I prayed after I was asked to speak was, "Lord you better show up... I know you will Lord. You are Faithful. I know you will".

As I stood before these women the Lord wishpered into my ear, where my spirit is there is freedom. We serve a God who is passionate about setting His people free. He came to set us free. Our freedom is not based on four walls, not at all. When we ask the Lord into our hearts, his spirit comes in and invades, our hearts. And where his spirit is there is freedom. His spirit set our hearts free. Our freedom in the Lord is something that nobody can rob from us.

My heart broke as I heard one women's story. She is in prision for murder. She had a siezure and fell on her baby who was 10 months old. Her baby died and she was convicted of murder. She was pregnant at the time of the fall and was forced to give birth to her baby in prision. Her baby is now 5 months and they are both still in prision. She has 3 1/2 years left with her child until they find another home for her baby. I pray freedom over this womens heart. Freedom from prision and also freedom from shame and guilt. Lord, release her from it all. I pray her heart opens up to yours. That she allows your love to consume her. Fill her with your love Father. Let your love wash everything away. Your love covers all.

Hours later we finally meet Susan and Ivan. Our hearts were so thankfull to finally put a face to this beautiful baby and to his mother. Susan was only 16 and I could sense a lot of fear and pain in her heart. We were able to talk and pray over them both along with hold her handsome little man. He is beautiful. Thank you Lord for rescuing Ivan. I pray now that you rescue Susans heart from shame and guilt. I pray she feels the depths of your love.

Pray for susan and Ivans heart. Also pray for Owen. He hadnt been seen on the streets for the last couple days we were in Kenya. Lord, I pray divine protection over this little boy. Cast out all his fears with your love.

Susan holding her little man

Ivan ( 3 weeks )

This is the food chart for one of the orphanages.

Pray the Lord blesses this place with an abundance of food to feed the children.

Thank you Lord for your freedom. Your freedom reigns. Your freedom stands above anything else. Thank you Lord that where your spirit is, there is freedom.

Continue to pray for our time in Uganda. This week we are going door to door... ministering to a lot of Muslims. Pray their hearts would open to the Lords word and spirit. Next week we are working with orphans... pray they feel the love of our Father through our hugs!

More Reason to Love

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

' you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.' 2 Corinthians 2:7

My main prayer this year as been this, create in me. o God. a pure heart. Through that prayer the Lord has been cleansing and cleaning my heart. Last month the Lord gave me eyes to see the depths of my heart. Unfortunately, what I saw wasn't pretty. I saw record after record of wrongs from others that I had kept. The first record dated all the way back to when I was five years old. I was beyond saddened at what I saw because it was a heart that looked nothing like the Fathers heart.

On the race the Lord has been teaching my heart what love is and what love is not. God is love. What we read in 1 Corinthians about love is who God is. ' Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.' The Lords love is all things. His love is unconditional and so pure. It is a love that keeps no record of wrongs.

I continued to pray that the Lord would cleanse my heart. His blood and His love covers all. Record after record of the wrongs I had kept began to wash away. It is evident that my heart is a work of the Lords. Only His love could wash it clean. Only His love could create in me a pure heart. A heart that can let go and live in the freedom that He intended His love to give us. Here are lyrics to a song that has really blessed my heart in this season.

Safe from the raging storms

find me in your loving arms

FREE from all my doubts and fears

I have found a haven here

Here is with me- I am not alone

Your love is sweeter then honey

Your love is stronger then death

Your love lifts me of my burdens

Teaches me to dance

Lockstep with my God, My king

Move in perfect harmony

Feel the rhythms of his heart

Know the joy he imparts

I am not alone

To know the joy He imparts we need to live in HIS love. Living in His love provides a freedom that nothing else could fill. It provides a peace that nothing else could surpass. In the mist of the pain of this refining process that my heart is in, i am confident of one thing; I am not alone. Just as my heart spoke of in my last blog I am and will never be alone. My God will never forsake me. The Lord continues to remind me that when there is more to forgive then there is more reason to love.

Lord continue to create in me a pure heart. A heart that walks in humility. A heart that spills out the grace I have receive from you. Teach my heart what it looks like to be obedient in everything. Thank your for you love, it truly does cover all.

Just for fun...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leaving for Uganda on Wednesday. Only 4 countries to go. Pray for the Lord protection as we travel across yet another border. Hope to update you when we arrive to let you know what ministry looks like there. Thanks to you all my readers. Every comment makes my heart feel so loved and supported.

Abandoned by Man, Never by God

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Having been on the race for seven months I should have known better. I should have known to expect the unexpected, especially on days off. Three teammates and I set off to town on our day off. We decided to walk the streets and just explore. If you are willing, if your eyes are opened, you will find that the Lord has the adventure He wants you to live, just waiting for you to live it.

We had only walked a few streets when we ran into what God had in store for our day and his name was Owen. This little boy approached me, as I was taking a picture of an old building, asking if I would please take his photo. I smiled and said of course. As I begin to snap the photo, Owen quickly pulled out a glue bottle from his pocket and began sniffing it. I pulled my camera down as my heart began to sink.

Sniffing glue is the life of the street kids. Do you remember the kids that did thinner in Honduras? These children use glue for the same reason. It numbs them from their hunger and from the pain of it all. With the glue bottle covering all but Owens eyes I could see it. His eyes spoke of all the pain. The pain of not having a home, not feeling loved and not feeling wanted. One of my squad mates, Jeremy, walked up to Owen offering him a proposition; a loaf of bread for his glue. He looked at his glue bottle for a second but could not hide the hunger pains so he agreed and handed his addiction over.

As we walked to the grocery store I couldn't help but to notice his clothes, well rather rags. Before we walked into the grocery store Owen had on what I hope to be a very warm, long lasting new sweatshirt. Walking through the grocery store with this sweet bare foot boy is an experience that I will never forget. He picked out his loaf of bread and started walking to the front to check out. What child would give up anything for a loaf of bread? What child would even be satisfied with a grocery run with only getting bread? Owen was but we couldn't let him walk out with just bread. In no time his arms were filled with cookies, milk and flip flops.

As I was checking out I was prepared for Owen to grab his bag of goodies and run out the door. I wasn't prepared for this little boy not to want his time with us to end. We all wanted to love on Owen more so we decided to treat him to the movies. Something He has never done before. We also thought it would be a safe place for him to be able to eat his food without being trampled by the other street kids and forced to share every slice of bread.

Walking to the theatre was a painful walk. Kids from eighteen to four ran down the streets each sniffing glue bottles, all in hopes that it would silence the pain. With much effort we were able to get to the theater with just Owen. That was a mission that seemed impossible but was made possible with the Lords help. I caught myself wanting to just watch Owen during the movie. Watch this sweet child eat his food and watch him for two hours feel safe, protected, loved and very wanted. As the movie went on, my prayer was that he would forever feel the love of the Lord. For his love is greater than any other.

The end of the night is really when it hit me hard. The streets were dark and honestly scary. A lot of drunken man wandered the streets. We had a ride come pick us up at the door because the streets where unsafe at this hour. I looked at Owen as we were climbing into the car and his eyes spoke of much fear. I thought Owen would just walk to the street he sleeps on because I assumed the dark and drunks are normal to him. I was wrong. He is only seven. He is a little boy who was afraid. We asked him if we could give him a ride to 'his street' and with a quick jump in our van he accepted the offer. I cannot grasp the Lords love for his children, for his people. My heart broke for Owen today. The Lords heart breaks for Owen every day. I got a small glimpse of the Lords heart as I spent time with Owen and another glimpse of his heart the very next day.

Owen age 7

The following day we were able to spend the day at one of the orphanages that Shekinah Glory has, they have 3 orphanages and 25 churches. This was one of my favorite days on the race thus far. This orphanage has 31 kids, two of which are babies. Moses,5 weeks, and Joseph, 4 weeks, are the sweet souls that stole my heart. Both children were abandoned and found in bushes. Joseph was found very shortly after he was left but Moses was not. It is evident that Moses had been in the bush for a long time because ants had started to eat him. My heart breaks for these children. The Fathers heart breaks for these children.

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me -psalm 27:10

Moses ( 5 weeks )

Joseph ( 4 weeks )

After meeting Owen, Moses, and Joseph I am sure of one thing: We are not promised to not experience pain on this earth. Suffering and hardships will occur when they are not deserved. They will happen because we live in a fallen world BUT God has made a promise that will forever remain true. It is the promise to never forsake us. Never. That provides a comfort to my heart that nothing could ever fill. If God is on my side then what do I have to fear?

Joseph and I after bath time

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you, Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.' - Deuteronomy 31:8

Add to the Beauty

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Time in Kenya has been filled with a mixture of things. We are living with a family of 7 and working with their organization, Shekinah glory. Painting at a church and orphanage, loving on lots of children, spending time in the slums and doing door to door evangelism are the things that have been filling our time here. To be honest it was a hard transition for me to go from spending time with the prostitutes in the bars of Thailand to door to door evangelism. I saw Jesus in the bars and streets of Thailand. Spending time with the prostitutes and homeless is where Jesus would be. That is where he is. I dont see Jesus going door to door, spending 15 minutes at each home, asking each person if they knew him. I didn't walk into this month with a defeated spirit just one that was struggling.

The first day i went out to do door to door ministry, I was tired and not feeling well. As I walked to the first mud hut this was my prayer:

Lord I have nothing. I need you to show up. I need your voice. I need you to be the one that speaks because I have no words to give. I have nothing to give. I need your spirit to fill these homes and your presence to be what encourages these people. Lord you have to be all because I have nothing.

An hour later three people committed their lives to Christ. Praise God. Today the kingdom of God was expended. Today the beauty of the kingdom was added to.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

- Jesus

This month I am learning this: We are inadequate and that is our greatest strength. The Lord loves using the weak because that is where His power is made great. When we surrender it all to him that is when HIS name is made much of. What an amazing God we serve. He truly does want to carry us through it all. As I walked away from the slums I realized this IS where Jesus would be spending His time. This is where He is. He meets people where they are at. He comes to the hurting and brokenhearted.

' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' - 2 Corinthians 11:9-10

Lord lead me to your heart. That is where I want to be and that is where i want to remain.

Love, Save the Empty

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Ministry in Thailand has come to an end. This month went by faster then any other. It truly was like a blink of an eye. This month gave us the freedom to really walk in the Spirit's leading. I LOVED it. We were able to ask God what HE wanted and then do just that. It was a sweet reminder that this is and should be our life. A life that is still before our God. One that listens for His voice and has obedience freely flow from it.

I was challeneged to ask God this month. ASK him for that one person, that one divine appointment. To not get overwhelmed with the amount of darkness that is felt in bars but just to pursue the one that God gives me. This month I have learned this: You Ask, He Answers. He was so faithful to provide that one person, that one divine appointment every where I went. Whether it was in the bars, coffee shop or even just walking the street. When fear, doubt, or worry would try to enter my heart, the Lord would remind me that His faithfulness would be my shield against all things.

' He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart ' Psalm 91:4

Our Lord's faithfulness became my permanent shield this month. It truly does protect us from all the enemy's attempts to attack.

I expected to hurt for the women I met. I expected to feel the bondage they were in but I did not expect to feel it for the men. Over and over I saw american men take the hand of a very young girl. Their faces all had grins on but the Lord allowed me to see deeper. Their souls spoke of so much pain. I have never felt the spirit of loneliness so heavy. My heart started to ache for these men that are searching for something that is not there. My heart breaks for the women who are owned and dont have a choice and for the ones that do. My heart aches for the people who see themselves through the pricetag of the world and not with the price that the Lord bought them at.

After the first week in Thailand, I was overwhelmed with the pain of it all. Overwhelmed with what I was seeing and overwhelmed what what to do with it. I cried out to the Lord asking Him what to do. I was desperate. I needed God to speak because I had no clue what I was doing. He whispered one word, Love.

This word is transforming me. The beauty of His love is transforming. The people we encountered in Thailand were so empty and they were desperatly needing to be loved. To be loved by the one that is love.

' Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. .... This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we ought to love one another. God is love.' I john 4: 7-11

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Thati is what we are called to do. Love....all the time, everytime. Love is not something small, it is everything. Thank you for your love, O God.

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Leaving for Kenya in a few hours.... be praying that we walk in LOVE.

Sweetly Broken

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The poor call on us, we have to be aware of them in order to love them
- Mother Teresa

My heart broke as I turned and watched countless people turn their backs to Miguel, trying to ignore even his presence. My heart broke because I saw myself in those people. I saw time after time where I looked the other way as I passed the poor. I would make excuses such as maybe it's not safe or if I gave them money they would probably just buy a drink. How far removed has my heart been from the heart of Jesus?

I recently listened to a sermon by Jennifer Toledo that really woke up my spirit. It is impossiable to be intimate with Jesus and not care about the poor. Jesus is absolutely overwhelmed with love for the poor. You can not cut his love for the poor out of the word. You cannot cut it out of his heart. He is the God of the poor. He choose to be born poor. He choose poor friends. That is who He is!

While doing bar ministry in Thailand the Lord started to open my eyes to the unseen. That unseen was the people on the streets crying out for help. The man below is known as " the begger." Nancy and I would walk the bar streets at night and take him some food each time we passed by. We would exchange a sincere smile and then would continue walking. This happened countless times before I actually learned his name. I felt the Lord telling me to not just bring him food but to join him for dinner one night. So that is what I did. I purchased take out for the both of us, and then sat down on the side of the street to enjoy some Thai food with my new friend. To my surprise he spoke english. His vocabulary was not very large but if he didnt know the word he would then just act it out. I learned that this sweet mans name was not "the begger" at all but Somcsat. I also learned of all the pain he has had to walk through. Such as an accident that severly damanged his legs along with another accident that caused him to go blind in his left eye.

I asked if he had any family. "None" he responded. I then asked if he had any friends. "One" was his response as he lifted his hand to point across the street. As I followed his hand, it lead to a very old tired dog. He then said, "That is Buddy and he is a very good friend". Tears welled up faster then I could fight them off. My heart broke for this man. I told him that now he has two friends as I pointed to the dog and then to myself. His smile seemed to increase as I prayed he felt the love of God.

Dinner didnt last long. He took about four bites and then rubbed his belly as if he had just finished four plates at Thanksgiving dinner. After he packed his leftovers up, he handed me his cup to beg for money. I took the half pringles can and started to shake the very few coins that he had already received. I sat on the street for one hour asking for help for Somcsat, asking for anything. As heavy as my heart was sitting there I tried to lighten the mood by convincing Somcsat to sing as I tried to shake the can to some sort of rhythm. He laughed so hard, because i have no rhythm, to the point where tears started to flow down his face. Tears of great joy. Joy that I prayed would last through the night.

Sixty mintues passed and I had only received 2 baht to show for it, which is about one penny. As fun as it was to laugh with Somscat it was pretty brutal to have countless people walk by and look at you in disgust. More often then not people would look the other way and pretend they didnt see you. I guess if you dont make eye contact then you can convince yourself that there is not a helpless man asking YOU for help.

I have always had a home and I have always had a full belly. I was so unaware of what it felt like to not have any of it. It is a life of humility thats for sure. A life that causes you to ask for a lot and receive very little.

Jesus' heart aches for the poor. His heart is filled with compassion. In the word it says over and over GIVE to the poor. Praying for the poor is not enough. Jesus did not just pray for them. He walked with them and He loved them. I dont have all the answers on what we should give and what we shouldn't. I don't think that is the point. I think we are just called to GIVE something...anything. Give your time, money, clothes, shelter, or even a smile.

Lord thank you for breaking me. Continue to break my heart for what breaks yours. Brand my heart with compassion.

It is more blessed to give then recieve - Acts 20:35