There is no place like home. There is no place like home. There is no place like home.
I don't usually write unless my thoughts are well organized. I wont even begin unless I have a plan. Not this time. My thoughts seem cluttered and are far from organized. I have been back in the states for a couple of months but feel like I have not processed much, in that time. I forgot how busy life was in the states. Nobody stops. Even when we are forced to sit, like in a car, we will use that time to get more things accomplished. Whether or not it is to use that time to catch up with an old friend on the phone, eat or finish getting ready for the day. There is always more to be done. This busyness is a whirlwind. I got caught into it so fast that when I took one second to breath I saw my bible and journal in the back of it all, collecting dust. A day well spent, for me, is a day spent in the word of God and one where you love on people, with His love. How quickly that can change to it only being a good day when muliple items are crossed off the to-do list. Productivity was replacing my time with the sweet presence of our God.
Its strange to be back. To feel like you are the foreigner in your own land. I tried to jump right back in where I left off but the truth is I am not the same person. We left at Christmas time and returned at that exact hour. The same Christmas tree I left was standing awaiting my return. I can not explain this backwards time warp that it feels like I have walked through. The things I expereniced while overseas were real and tangible. When I tell them state side they seem fake even to me.
I think the hardest question that I continue to get asked is, Where is home? I gave up answering that question a long time ago. My answer became simply, I do not know. The next time you get asked that on an airplane, by a stranger, try my line out and see the obscured looks you get for the entire flight. Who doesn't know where home is? Don't get me wrong I have family and friends all over who have always said, "Mi casa is Su casa". I have shelter to go to and stay as long as I need. Shelter is not the problem. Home is where I belong but I didn't know where that was.
I could not have asked for a better welcome back gretting. Unexpectly, my family flew from all over to greet me at the LAX airport. I have never felt so loved....so deeply missed. It was a moment i will never forget. It was good to be back in the arms of the ones i had left for a year. Tears flowed down my face as I held my 6 month newphew for the first time. Hear me out when i say time spent with family has been sweet and rich but still nothing could seem to fill this void of the question that i could not answer, where is home?
I guess home is different for everyone. Home could be the house you grew up in. To me it is just that, it is a house. A home seems to have so much more meaning and depth then a building. Is a place? a destination? or could it be a person? I find it to be true that when people return from vacation they usually open the door and with much relief in their voice say, " it is good to be home". That releif goes beyond the walls that surround them. It is something deeper that leads their hearts to peace.
I sat down to read the word the other day and I asked the Lord to saturate me with His words and His presence. As i read, my soul quickly made a huge sigh of relief and said," it is good to be home". Jesus is my home. He is where i belong. It is clear that this earth is temporary. " Dear friends, i urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world..." 1 Peter 2:11. We have been warned to not get too comfortable; this land is not our home. It all made sense. I am supporse to feel like a foreigner here because my home is far way. I am thankful though that my home has arms that reach out to me daily from afar.
My heart is captivated by the Parable of the Prodigal Son story, in the bible. A story about the power of God's love and his power to redeem all. You know the story; the son runs away and the Father waits expectingly for his return. When he returned, his fathers arms were outstrechted waiting to embrace his son. As his son hugged his dad tightly i can only imagine that under his breath the son with great relief said," it is good to be home". It was in his fathers arms were he knew he was home, safe, and at peace.
If there is one thing I am sure of it is this; God is love. I have been in love before. The kind that has the depths to penetrate your soul. And at the end of that love came a rejection that swept over me all to quickly. I am sure you have felt this heartache before, one that seems to leave you breathless. The beauty of Gods love is that you will never feel rejection. Ever. His arms will never turn you away nor will His love ever have an end. In fact, His arms are permently open waiting to embrace each of us as we return home. As I picture His arms spread open I can not help but to imagine the cross. A true represention that He is love. God is waiting for you me. His very heartbeat is callling his chlidren to come home. No more running. No more searching. Run into the Fathers arms for there is no place like home.
There was stillness in Cambodia. Frogs hopping through fields and snakes slithering through them are all sounds that have been drowned out by our constant busyness. Not there. Those sounds were alive and were the very things that soothed the soul. The quiet ushered in the voice and the presence of the Lord. "Be still and know that I am God" was a scripture that awakened my heart, this month. Without stillness there is no knowledge of God.
Our water to cook, bathe and wash clothes with.... from the nearest pond!
Only 2 % of the people in Cambodia are Christians
This is seen often; a grave area in the yard of someone's home. A strong belief in this
country is that, it's the responsibility of the living to take care of the dead. They bring the deceased in their
family food every so often because they believe their loved ones would suffer if they were in hell and had
no food. Even if the family strongly believes their loved ones are in Heaven they still bring them food because they
don't want to be wrong and cause suffering to the deceased. This is a big reason people don't want to convert
to Christianity because they don't want their ancestors to suffer as they believe they would if they abandoned them.
The only place we have power in is NOW.
We cannot change the past and we have
no control of the future
The Lord wants to show you His beauty
in the places you would least expect it
All lined up for English class
Nancy and I fell in love with our class
The JOY of the Lord will return to you
There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain
The end is near. This year has been such a paradox; it has gone by so slow yet in a blink of an eye. The end is near but it is not over. Month 11 has arrived and it became evident as we entered the 11th country that the Lord had much in store. The country of Cambodia is beautiful and so are the people here. We are living at a school this month, teaching English,and the only things that surround us are rice fields, rice fields, and more rice fields. Most days I just stand in awe of Gods creation, the creation that He made in ONE week. If I stand still long enough I become convinced that I am trapped in a National Geographic Magazine.
The Lord knows what our hearts need. After living in the busy cities of Vietnam my heart needed rice fields. As I enter each country I would always ask God, what do you want this month to look like? I would surrender all expectations as I prayed, "You design this month Lord. I will follow in your plan." This month the Lords voice washed over me and said, "Seek me first Katie. Above all I want you to seek me. Give me your all so I can become your all. Give me your thoughts and time. Start and end each day at my feet. Enter my presence with a devoted heart, one that will return to me each day".
This month my heart cried out, "Lord I want to know your voice as you know mine". The Lord knows His children's voices. He does not question whose voice he is hearing when we cry out to Him. I hear His voice and before I can confidently walk in it I am being knocked over with the waves of doubt, disbelief, and fear. I want to enter the states with an unshakable faith, one that stands firm no matter what others say. I want to know His voice as He knows mine. This month I want to go deeper into the character of God. I am hungry for more of Him.
I wanted to honor the things the Lord spoke over my heart, so I did. We have to choose God, daily. I was up an at em at 6:00 a.m. every day as I tried to become a sponge at his feet. I tell you this not to receive a pat on the back for having a good devotional time. I tell you because I am a passionate lover of Jesus, and 11 years later I am still learning to choose God.
Each morning the Lord would say ," Just come and listen". He pushed my spirit to enter the quiet time with pure silence. He then spoke James 1:19-21 over my heart, " My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." I read this verse a lot as I remind myself when I am quick to speak and slow to listen it never produces life. Today the Lord turned that around and said. "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen to the one and only true God and slow to speak to Him..." My world was rocked as I let those words plant deeply in my heart. I am very quick to talk to God. In fact, my entire day is one on-going conversation. But wait; is it really a conversation when I am doing all the talking? God loves my voice. He truly does but my voice has become an ongoing ramble. How often do I STOP and LISTEN for the voice of God. This month I want the Lord to transform my heart to become one that is quick to listen to Him.
A very wise woman, 11 years ago, told me that I would always have time for what I put first. I use to spend an hour, at least, getting myself ready for the day. I never walked out the door without being perfectly put together. I put myself first, everyday. My lifestyle has radically changed on the race. I am now doing well if I get to take a bucket shower once a week. Putting on makeup no longer takes up any of my time but other things have quickly filled it such as sleep or going for a run. My point is, no matter where you are in life you have to choose God. And no matter what your lifestyle looks like you will always have time for what you put first.
" I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me...My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me". John 10:14, 27
In the quiet rice fields I met Nia. She was a beautiful woman of God one who trusted the voice of God when all others spoke against it. She got bit by something 4 years ago and has been in pain ever since. Her ankle continues to grow in size and in pain. The village she lives in wants to just cut her leg off but she fights for the voice of God that says she will be healed. If the Lord has spoken something to your heart stand by it even if the world speaks against it. The world can not see the unseen but we serve a God of the unseen. Every word that our God speaks is fulfilled.
In the last three days of ministry I could have checked out. I was literally inches away from the finishing line. Time was not standing still so the end would arrive no matter my choice. Did three days really count for anything?
We were asked to lead a youth camp. To plan all act ivies and lead 100 youth on a retreat that was about 4 hours from their homes. The cost of the retreat was $5 for each student. For a three day retreat in the states that would be unheard of. If you were to add a zero to that number then maybe that would be more like it but this was not the states. One by one students started to take their name off the sign up sheet has they stated their family was not able to come up with the five dollars. The leader of this ministry, who does not get paid a cent, told the students to just bring .25 cents and then they could call it even. In confidence he shared with each student that this trip would be fully funded by the Lord. He is the God who provides, he declared boldly.
We planned for and covered this youth retreat in prayer. We even went door to door in the village to talk with the parents and ask their permission to have their kids join us. Sure enough as the Lord brought more people to sign up, He brought more money in. I was excited. I was committed to finishing this race strong. As a team, as one unit we were all in.
At the retreat, I heard students say they came because this retreat would be the first time in their life where they would get three meals a day. Others came for their friends and just to have fun. No matter their reasons we were excited because we knew Gods idea in bringing them was for a greater purpose then their own. The youth retreat was like a mini passion conference. It was filled with worship, dancing, small groups, a drama, teaching, testimonies shared, break out groups, and a lot of games. I truly felt honored to be a part of this retreat. I felt honored to be a part of these children's life as I watched 20 of them surrender their life to Christ. To be a part of that celebration was incredible! It was then when I relaizxed every second of our lives count. Nothing is wasted. Yes, those three days counted and I am so glad I did just throw in the towl. All of our lives matter because it is all for His kingdoms cause.
Kids recieving Christ and bibles
WORSHIP
Break Out Groups
Games
Thank you Lord for allowing me to be a part of thise youth retreat. What an honor!!! I couldnt imagine the race ending any better
I don't know how many of you have volunteered at a youth camp but their are only two requirements: love Jesus, and be full of energy, ALL the time. Kids love it when adults are crazy and loud. So we gave these kids crazy and loud all the time. As my voice was fading fast within the first day I knew the next couple days would be tiring. But as I thought about how tired I would soon become the Lords voice spoke the opposite. He said," Enter my rest". I quickly told the Lord I would enter his rest in three days, after the youth retreat. His relentless voice continued to speak, "No enter my rest now". In the next couple days the Lord taught me an incredible lesson. To enter his rest is a choice. His rest is not circumstanstaial. Is is ours to enter no matter what we are walking through. Enter His rest today!!!!!!!
I know I have already said my goodbye's to Africa but I couldnt help but want to share these pictures from a Safari we went on. Many people are to credit for these photos. Whoever was sitting closest to the animal was thrown a camera. Enjoy a little slice of Africa.
Had an experience at an orphanage in Vietnam that will never go forgotten. The age range in this orphanage was 5 months to 98 years old. For those who have seen the movie, Shutter Island I felt like I lived on that island for a short period of time. As I walked up I saw the same old lady with balding hair standing perfectly still by the bushes. I passed her on my right and then looked to my left to find another old lady, with her pants to her ankles, squatting in the middle of the grass to use the bathroom. The depths of brokenness I felt that day was indescribable. The man who started it had a heart to go and "collect", for lack of better term, the people who had been abandoned. Children were found in bushes, on streets, while others were found in grave yards. These children along with the elderly were rejected because of their disability. They were found facing everything alone because they were unwanted. My heart as you can assume was beyond broken as we had encounters with each person, in this institution. With every story that I heard, my heart sank deeper and deeper into that brokenness.
Meet Huy
This little boy has water releasing in his brain. He would shake when the pain would run down in body. He was told that he only has five years to live. He is four.
Lord I pray for Huy. I pray that you are holding him when no one else will. I pray he feels the embrace of your loving arms.
Meet Khoung
I fell in love with this little one and so did my teammate Nancy. Had it been allowed, Nancy would have left that little boy clung to her hip and taken him home with her. Khoung was found abandoned in a grave yard because he was born with down syndrome. He only had one arm due to the after affects of a chemical in the Vietnam war called, agent orange. Chemicals that were in bombs years and years ago are still affecting generations. Lord draw near to your precious son. May your arms always hold him. Because you are His God may he never again feel rejected or unwanted. May he always know the depths of your love.
Meet An
( An is acutally in the blue shirt. Sorry I couldnt find a close up picture )
An was a precious 7 year old. She had been dropped from a tall building which caused her to be paralyzed. Her parents brought her to the intuition claiming they had no idea how to take care of their daughter. So the orphanage took her in with open arms. An was overflowing with joy. Her giggles brought so much life. Lord I pray healing over her body. Your desire for your children is to walk in wholeness. Make An whole. Bring feeling and movement back to her body. Continue to take her deeper and deeper into your love. Contiune to impart your joy into her. I pray she continues to live in that joy.
Meet Ty
Ty was a sweet old lady who immediately stole my heart. I could have sat with her for hours. I walked into her room that she shared with 3 others and was so drawn to her. She was sitting on her bed with her arms hugging her knees as she stared out the one window, in her room. As I walked up to her I looked into her eyes only to find she had no sight at all. I didn't have a translator with me so I couldn't communicate one word to her. All I could do was try to love on her through the silence. So I sat on her bed holding her hand, rubbing her back and swatting the flies away, that covered her body. Later I learned that Ty is a widow who lost her husband in the Vietnam war. She had only been married one year before he left to go fight for his country, so they had yet to have any children. She spoke that she never has a soul to come visit her. Lord, I pray that your love with cover her deep loneliness. I know your love has to come to rescue her - yes Lord rescue her from it all. Let your light cast out all the darkness she feels. I pray you become her everything.
Ty's Roommates
Again and again the Lord has spoken on the race that Love has no barrier. Love does whatever it takes to arrive at its destination. The Lords love is all powerful and it has arrived. Its destination is our hearts. It indeed has arrived but we must accept it. It is waiting for us.
I found it very interesting that Ty was looking out the window when I saw her. I don't know much about blindness but when I imagine being blind I picture complete darkness. The light is what pierced Ty's eyes, in the darkeness, and is what directed her. The darkness is what cripples her and keeps her from moving. The light is actually greater than the darkness that consumes her vision. The light of the Lord is greater than any other. Even if darkness surrounds us the light of the Lord is always shining brighter. It is always present and is always there to rescue us. The Lords light has arrived. For darkness is light to our God.
'Where can I go to from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is light to you" Psalm 139:7-12
In the previous blogs I failed to share an increible story. We visted an underground church for a day and got to sit at the feet of the pastor, as he shared the story of his life. He spoke about going from preaching one minute to getting tossed into jail the next. He described the ways the police would brutally mistreat him. He took on the beatings for the sake of Christ. They kept him in the cell for 23 hours of the day. Which forced him to go to the bathroom on himself. Disgrace and shame are what the police wanted him to be filled with but those things were forbidden to enter his heart. Hope in Jesus is what He clung to. Forgivness and love are the only things that consumed him. He would speak to his own heart and say I have nothing to fear, what can mortal man do to me? Days turned into weeks; and weeks turned into months. After 2 months and 15 days, one of the police man opened the jail cell and said you are free to go. The police had no reason for his release. He couldnt even utter anything other than your free, you can go. Our friends first stop out of jail was to his underground church that he lead. It was their were he found the church body laboring in prayer for him and for his release. That is what the church should look like. There is power in prayer. There is power in the church body.
Watch the video below to get a glimpse into the church here
.JPG)
